A Misplaced Path

So the other day a couple of guys and I (dang, that makes it sound like I'm not a guy, doesn't it? ) K, a couple of guys including me were going to bike all the way down to Valley Forge from up in Collegeville, something like 15 miles, and we was all excited, especially Tyler, which means that something was about to explode.

Seriously, when he gets excited, stuff just happens.  It's like standing at the dessert bar at your favorite all-you-can-eat buffet when they're about to bring out a new 5-layer chocolate ice cream cake gushing raspberry sauce with, like, a gallon of hot fudge on top that's so big you could pretty much eat your way inside of it and take a food nap before finishing off the outside. It's like that.. except there's a HUGE guy behind you. Or maybe a HUGE girl; it depends on the day you go. And that HUGE person wants that cake because they have really severe hypoglycemia so they actually NEED it or they might pass out because their blood sugar dips too low. Only the hypoglycemia is already affecting them so they're coated with sweat and their arms are trembling and their whole body is like jelly and their mouth is watering and they NEEDS it like its their PRECIOUS. And its really something like 5 really, really, big guys (and girls) trying to get to the cake as fast as they can and elbowing each other out of the way and spilling hot fudge everywhere. And then they just get so hungry that they eat you and take a food nap while you're inside their stomach and they finish off the cake later.

That's something like what happens when Tyler is really excited. If you don't believe me here's some video evidence:

That was something we did with water balloons last summer, and we really haven't changed too much.  Did you see the explosion?  And the PAIN?  He talked about how much his "fluctuating pants" hurt every time... and he went on to do this SIX MORE TIMES. After he was done, we went inside and he augmented the newly sized insides of his bathing suit with a SERRATED KITCHEN KNIFE. While he was WEARING THEM. He thinks he's SO HARDCORE. I enjoy CAPITAL LETTERS, but i guess that's enough for now.

ANYWAY, back to the story at hand.



UPDATE: This is not actually the story of the misplaced sidewalk. Sorry if you were fooled. I know there was an overwhelming number of sidewalks in this post. Remember?